Menage-a-soixante-deux.....For A Muslim Suicide Bomber...

Of course, these questions come to mind...

Martin Bodek has 72 questions on how this whole virgin thing works. Here are the top 10:

1) What if the bomber wants girls with more experience?
2) What if one virgin is no good in bed? Does she get replaced or is he stuck with 71?
3) If he's gay, does he get male virgins?
4) What if he's celibate? What does he get?
5) What if he hasn't reached puberty yet? Does he get 72 Xboxes till he comes of age?
6) If he's bi, does he get 36 of each?
7) If he blows himself up while building the bomb, does he still get credit?
8) What do you call a relationship with 72 women, a menage-a-soixante-deux?
9) Are they like 72 wives or 1 wife and 71 concubines?
10) What if he's ugly or smells bad and the virgins don't want anything to do with him?

72 questions for God on the 72 virgins, here. The big question is number 35...

If a bomber finds an infidel in paradise, can he blow him up and get 72 more virgins?

That would mean he would have 144 virgins, or 12x12. A dozen dozen, kind of odd that God thought of this round and easily divisible number I think. Yo, look at Muhammad, he's got 144 virgins, how did he get so lucky? But even so, this question is actually kind of stupid. Everyone knows that there would never be an infidel in heaven. And if a suicide bomber ever saw an infidel in heaven then he would probably be somewhat perplexed how this individual got here in first place. See, if an infidel got to heaven, then infidels aren't out of favor with God at all. If this is the case, then how did he get credit for the first martyrdom operation to start with? Kind-of troubling for the young suicide bomber, keeper of 72 virgins type, I think. He was probably thinking that God was thinking one way and then he finds these infidels wandering around heaven. Kind of disturbing for a martyr. But a martyr shouldn't really be disturbed since it is heaven you know. But just in case that there were, that is infidels in heaven, that can be blown up and this is without risk since a suicide bomber already has his 72 virgins, he figures that he can get get 72 more. Its kind of like monopoly with hotels on all the good places. After blowing up his next infidel, that can't be blown up after all since the infidel is in heaven too, and can't die again, the serious suicide bomber and one that strives to be more than just a single-time martyr figures that he is the winner since he has more than the standard 72 virgins. So he is the winner but maybe the other martyrs would get jealous. So everyone in heaven would have to keep their suicide vests strapped on just in case an infidel wanders into their heavenly space!