War!!!!!

U.S. Declares War on Smurfs, Hundreds Dead in "Shock and Awe" Style Carpet-Bombing Campaign....



The crying baby Smurf just broke my heart. How can the US do this unilateral kind of aggression again? It is to control the smurf oil?

When footage of the bombing raid on the Smurf Village was televised in Belgium, images of dead and dying Smurfs, including a badly burned Baby Smurf, caused an immediate condemnation of America, the 543rd such condemnation from a European country this week, but only the 18th from anywhere other than France. The United Nations International Children's Emergency Fund, UNICEF, soon began using the footage in a new anti-war fund-raising campaign.

Left-wing bloggers were quickly flooding the Internet with their take on the reasons for the attack. Many of those theories centered on the United States' aversion to the Smurfs' well-documented Marxist lifestyle; widespread rumors about Smurf Satan-Worshiping tendencies that had first spread throughout Latin America in the early 1980's; President Bush's personal objection to homosexuality, which was believed to be rampant among the nearly-all male Smurf population; or moral objections to cloning, which many believed to be their only effective method of reproduction. The most popular theory by far, however, had to do with Haliburton and the Smurfs' rich deposits of mushroom oil.

Yes, it is the oil!

And of course, there is also a racial angle to the attack...

Rev. Jesse Jackson was among those who were quick to condemn the White House, "This is clearly nothing more than another attack on people of color, in this case blue," said Rev. Jackson, who badly bruised his left knee while tripping over himself in a rush to find the nearest television camera.