Getting Pulled Over....

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer
says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control
at 60. Maybe your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting, the wife says, "Now
don't be silly dear. You know that this car doesn't have
cruise control."

As the office writes out the ticket, the driver looks
over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your
mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be
thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the office makes out the second ticket for the illegal
radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and
says through clenched teeth, "Darn it woman, can't you
keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're
not wearing your seatbelt, sir. That's an automatic $75
fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on,
but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could
get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you
didn't have your seatbelt on. You never wear your seat-
belt when you're driving."

As the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the
driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU
PLEASE SHUT UP?"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your
husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

"Only when he's been drinking."